rony! (drknspooky) wrote,

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so much to say

no where near having a clue where to begin.

two big things things to talk about on my mind.

a) royal rumble. i know i shouldnt go.
i know i cant afford to go.
i dont have anyone to go with, which makes me sad.
i will have to work the next day, and doing the math.. thats.. not realistic to do.

that being said? i want to go.
ive never been.
on the list of things to do before i die, ill go ahead and say its on there, so thats a plus.

im getting older. im getting to where risks and adventure do not hold the sway for me that they used to.
thats.... really, really sad. why should you not want adventure, just because you are older?
stories are what life is about. the story of all night driving to get back to work on time? THATS a story. thats life. thats living.
the story of being too scared? thats not living. thats a bullet in the head.


im about to buy a house. biggest decision of my life? pretty close, if not exact. im having a crisis based on deciding if i should do whats technically best for me, or doing whats best for my situation.
i need to have my own place to live.
i want my own place to live.
i NEED to have my cats back in my life.

do i take what could be a bad house, just to get my life in order fast? or do i wait... do i put my life on hold, for the better decision, in the long run?
i had quality time with my babies tonight (my cats). it almost made me cry. my black heart almost cracked, just being with them.
is that reason enough to make a bad decision? maybe. i really dont know.


i hate life.
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