well, the thing i love most in the world has ended.
it seems the goth/industrial scene in indy is NOT worth ed'fighting for.
that pains me more than... almost life itself.
ive gone above and beyond the call of duty in trying to help unify the scene. i really have. ive had an open door policy with ALL (well, fuck dj nightmare, though he never asked, so its a mute point) dj's in and around the scene.
ive tried to be nice.
ive tried to let ANYONE (see above) play. ive tried to let anyone do whatever it is they want, so we can have a unified scene... to no avail.
all ive gotten for my trouble is to be 'unfriended' for my trouble by the bartender that i thought was my friend. nope! im wrong. she apparently is NOT a friend, and was only using me, hoping to get tips. wow. fuck that cunt.
i dont want to be an asshole, but...
ive ONLY gone out of my way to help any/everyone (see above) in the scene. ive let people dj that are not dj's. ive let my personal biases towards people be water under the bridge, and let them play more than i want. ive let people i personally have a grudge against play some of the biggest shows of the year/decade in our scene, all under the 'all for one' banner. ive let people in other cities play, when my name NEVER (or so it seems) comes up in 'their' scene...
and what have i gotten for it? nothing.
not a fucking thing.
im not bitching to get noticed. im not bitching to get a spot at an event i probably wont show up to... but im bitching set the record straight. ive done NOTHING but waste time and effort on a scene that doesnt seem to give a shit, and on dj's that dont actually give a fuck about me.
all ive learned recently is that i should stop trying to help others, because no one gives a fuck about me. i think its safe for me to start a new night, not let ANYONE ELSE play at it, and tell anyone asking to fuck off. :/
whooo! glad im into the things im into. fuck everyone. :(